Trump University Honor Students Arrive At CPAC to Show Their Support For Trump

Trump Supporters at CPAC display Russian flags with Trump's name on them.

SPLIT

SPLIT the new  M. Night Shyamalan movie starring James McAvoy is what you might imagine if Hannibal Lecter hooked up with Sybil and they had a love child. 

Of course, that would be after Sally Fields was the Flying Nun and before she was old enough to be Spiderman's Aunt Meg. Anyway, Kevin Wendell Crumb, the villain, has a lot on his mind: twenty-three to twenty-six different personalities sharing his body like it's a rent controlled tenement building. It's hard to keep up with the total number of personalities. Doesn't matter because we only get to see like eight if I remember correctly with four of the personalities dominating the screen time: Dennis, Patricia, Hedwig, and the Beast. Oh, did you catch the cleverness of Kevin's last name--Crumb. You know, like a broken cookie. Yeah, that kind sums up the movie for me. 

Kevin, as Dennis, kidnaps three teenage girls--one blond leader fembot, one not-so-bright-hotttie black chick, and an angst filled-brunette chick with a dark secret, and holds them hostage in the bowels of the Philadelphia zoo. Do we care? Not really because we never learn enough to care about them. Really, nobody cares. Same thing for Kevin Crumb. I couldn't care less about any of them.

JAPAN'S PRIME MINISTER MEETS AMERICA'S TWEETZILLA

Cold Blooded Bastards (A short story by Lafayette Parish)

Funny what goes through your head when you’re dumping a body. I was thinking about how I would explain things to Connie when I got home. As usual, Tuco didn’t give a shit about my concerns.

“I have a bad feelin’ ‘bout this, Blondie,” Tuco said.

Me and Tuco stood along the muddy bank of Black Water Bayou and stared at two human legs bobbing in the water. The rest of the body had already submerged beneath the glassy surface. It looked like the body had been sawed in half, which it hadn’t been. I hadn’t had time.